


Green

by the_genderman



Series: Panchromium [3]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Apologies, Blow Jobs, Captain America: The First Avenger, F/M, If You Squint - Freeform, Jealousy, M/M, Our heroes are all behaving badly, eventually, not quite cheating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-05
Updated: 2018-02-05
Packaged: 2019-03-13 20:54:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13578750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_genderman/pseuds/the_genderman
Summary: Green. Naïveté. Envy. Jealousy. Selfishness. Greed."O, beware, my lord of jealousy;It is the green-eyed monster which doth mockThe meat it feeds on”Othello, Act III, scene 3, line 166





	Green

**Author's Note:**

> Even good guys have bad days. Everyone in this fic is behaving badly, so if you want to yell at them “No, wrong, stop, do not do that, put that thing back where it came from or so help me,” then I have succeeded. 
> 
> That being said, I suppose it does end on a positive note?

Give a man an inch, and he’ll take a mile. How true that was, Peggy huffed to herself. She had been naïve to think he would be any different, Erskine’s ‘good man.’ Steve was a good man, but he was still a _man_. His “That wasn’t what you think it was.” What else _could_ it be? Her “I don’t think anything.” That was a lie, of course, she was thinking a great many things, but she wasn’t about to show her hand to him, not after that little stunt. After everything she had done for him, this was how he repaid her? Running off after the first little bottle-blonde who batted her eyelashes at him? She ought to let Private Lorraine have him and cut her losses.

And yet, that little thread of jealousy was proving frustratingly difficult to sever, tying her to Steve. She wanted him; she wanted him to be everything Erskine had promised, she wanted him to live up to his own ideals. She wanted to go back, to warn herself not to fall for him. The little man who wasn’t afraid of anything, whose spirit was bigger than his body. She should have seen it coming on that ride to the SSR facility. Longest conversation he’d ever had with a woman? Not for lack of trying, on his end; as soon as the women started noticing him back, he was off like a shot. But despite it all, she _wanted_ him. She had seen his worth before almost everyone else. She _deserved_ him. Not someone who saw him only for his new body.

Peggy knew she was angry, but she was _allowed_ to be. If she were to take him back, then he would have to beg forgiveness. He had known full well what he was doing, and he did it anyway. Off like a shot, indeed. She smiled, a sharp curl, thinking back on how his face had changed from smugly pleased with himself to flustered and scared. Maybe pulling her gun on him _was_ a little over-dramatic, but it certainly made her point. Steve would think twice about underestimating her again. Assuming she took him back, that was. It was more than he deserved.

Peggy sighed, still angry. Well, she’d give him the silent treatment for a few days. Let him chase after her, let him fill her footsteps with apologies. Then, after she’d determined he had suffered enough, had done his penance, she’d allow him back. Thus chastened, maybe he wouldn’t be so tempted to stray again.

\-----------------------------

One perk of being Captain America was his own, private room. On most days Steve wouldn’t have listed it as a perk, but, well, this day wasn’t exactly most days. It was barely noon and he’d already been caught in some very unexpected friendly fire. Oh, Stark was explaining it away as a necessary ballistics test, showing the curious properties of the rare metal, but that was just to keep the brass happy. No one wanted to admit that the SSR’s sweethearts weren’t currently on speaking terms. Peggy had gone off to do something, Steve didn’t know, and didn’t really care at the moment. He’d taken his lunch back to his room to brood, not wanting to accidentally run into Peggy in the canteen.

Steve turned his new shield around and around aimlessly in his hands at he sat on the edge of his bunk, replaying the morning’s events. Peggy was being irrational. He’d tried to explain to her what had happened; it wasn’t what she thought it was, he had been cornered, dragged into it against his better judgement, but she had cut him off and then shot at him. Let her go cool her heels for a bit, better than trying to argue with someone who didn’t want to listen. It wasn’t like he’d _asked_ Private What’s-her-face to be there. He hadn’t wanted it, it just kind of … happened. And what was he supposed to do, huh? He wasn’t about to hit a woman.

Setting the shield aside, Steve rubbed his mouth reflexively and resettled his tie. Yeah, he liked Peggy, and he’d thought she liked him back, but they hadn’t made anything official. They weren’t going steady. It wasn’t cheating if they weren’t going steady. He liked Peggy, but she didn’t own him, and he wasn’t going to let a little thing like jealousy spoil things for him. Let her come apologize to him. She was the one in the wrong, _she_ was the one who wouldn’t listen.

A thought entered his mind unbidden: _Bucky_ wouldn’t treat me this way. He’d at least hear me out before passing judgement.

Steve stood up and stretched. Maybe he’d go for a walk, get to see more of the base, maybe even get out and see some more of London than just the inside of a pub. Let his mind wander along with his feet, and not dwell on things out of his control.

\---------------------------------

Bucky was uncharacteristically sullen all morning. When the guys mentioned it at lunch, he had claimed a hangover from his drinking-to-forget binge the previous night. (In truth, he didn’t feel nearly as bad as he would have expected, but it was a good excuse for his surliness.) He was thankful they were still on leave, a fleeting reward for what they had suffered in Krausberg. It wasn’t enough, though. It would never be enough. By rights he shouldn’t even be here; he should be on a ship home with a medical discharge. ‘Psychological injury’ they’d called it, but no, he was a greedy idiot. He’d declined the discharge because Steve had asked him to stay, asked him to have his back. He stayed because it let him keep Steve for just a little bit longer.

Little Stevie who wasn’t so little anymore. Leading his own elite squad of commandos on a rousing adventure to wipe HYDRA off the map. Like it was a game. Maybe it _was_ just a game to Steve. He’d gotten everything he’d wanted. He was a big, strong, healthy soldier, and he had the sharpest, most gorgeous girl on base looking at him like he’d hung the moon for her. And he was mooning after her like nothing Bucky had ever seen. No, that was a lie. Steve looked at Agent Carter the way he himself looked at Steve, stealing glances when no one would see him looking. 

Bucky dropped his fork down onto his plate with a clatter, standing up abruptly, silently. He gathered up his dishes and started off to return them to be washed.

“Leaving us already? Where’re you off to in such a hurry?” Dugan asked with a laugh, trying to get Bucky out of his sulk.

“Out,” Bucky answered curtly, stalking away from the table. He could hear the guys muttering, could hear the concern in their voices, but he didn’t care. He didn’t particularly want to be alone with his thoughts, but he didn’t want to have to hang around and pretend like nothing was wrong.

He wanted to find Steve, but he wasn’t sure what he’d do if he did. Oh, how Bucky had burned last night in that pub. How his thoughts had flared under his skin. How his eyes blazed, barely contained, at Steve. His silent plea: Look at me, you bastard. _Look_ at me. _I_ need you. Not them, not her. _Me_. I don’t know what they did to me, I don’t know what’s going to happen to me, and I can’t tell anyone how scared I am. I need you now, Steve. Just look at me. You used to _know_ me. You were the only one who could, the only one I’d allow to do so. Did you change or did I? Or have we both?

When he had finally spoken last night, his tone had been light, joking, but his words had been the undiluted truth. He really did feel like he was invisible. Steve had been floating around in his own little world, not seeing Bucky like he’d used to. Back in Brooklyn, back when Steve was his old self, small and feisty, he didn’t miss a thing. He’d give Bucky the space he needed, but he’d check in with him, make sure he was ok, give him room to reach out if he wanted it. Bucky frowned. He’d been barely holding it together at that pub, and Steve hadn’t seen a damn thing, all wrapped up playing toy soldiers and making goo-goo eyes at his girl. Bucky left the canteen and headed back to the barracks, for lack of a better destination.

He walked, alone with his thoughts, even as he passed by his fellow soldiers in the halls. Was he jealous of Steve? Maybe, but so what if he was? He was allowed to be jealous of him. Steve had gotten everything he wanted without hardly having to work for it, whereas Bucky got his time on the frontline, watching men die, getting captured, getting shoved in a cage, and having who the hell knows what done to him. The doctors didn’t know; they just gave him some aspirin for his head, some penicillin ‘just in case,’ and told him to come back if anything new developed.

\------------------------

Bucky walked, barely paying attention to where his feet were taking him. He nearly collided with Steve in the empty hallway, having somehow wandered his way down towards the officers’ quarters.

“Whoa there, Buck,” Steve grinned, holding out a hand to steady Bucky as he stumbled. “Got your head in the clouds, huh?”

Bucky just shrugged and tried to sidestep around Steve, to keep moving. Yeah, he’d told himself he wanted to find Steve, but now that he _had_ , he wasn’t feeling up to it. He wasn’t ready to face him. 

Didn’t want to have to confront the other feeling churning inside him. He’d always known he’d lose Steve to some girl eventually, but this was too soon. But Steve wasn’t his to have, no matter how good of friends they’d been, no matter whatever it had been that they had shared before he had gone off to Basic. Steve wasn’t his, but, God, he _wanted_ him to be. 

“You ok?” Steve asked, his grin drooping a little as he stepped back into Bucky’s path, blocking him. 

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Bucky snipped, trying again to step around Steve.

“Alright, sure, you’re fine,” Steve said, dropping his smile and cheerful attitude. “Yeah, of course you’re fine.”

“I just said that,” Bucky said, stopping in his tracks and turning to face Steve. “What’s wrong with _you_?”

“Nothing,” Steve said.

“Whatever they did to you, you still can’t lie worth a damn,” Bucky said, fixing Steve with a pointed stare. “What’s wrong?” Even upset with him, even with Steve being big now and not needing his protection, Bucky still found himself drawn back into old habits, keeping after Steve. _His_ Steve.

“Apparently Peggy’s decided she wants to ‘take a break’ from me for a while,” Steve said, his tone leaning towards sarcastic as he made air quotes around ‘take a break.’

“Wow, that was quick,” Bucky snorted. “What’d you do to piss her off already?”

“I don’t wanna talk about it,” Steve said, rolling his shoulders.

“Well too bad,” Bucky said.

They stood, facing each other in the middle of the empty hallway, neither willing to break the silence that descended over them. Neither willing to move along. Neither willing to concede defeat in what had turned into a stare-down.

The spell was shattered as a clerk hurried past, not speaking, but giving the two of them a glare, clearly aggrieved that they would be so rude as to stand in the middle of the hallway when he had things to do and places to be.

“My room’s just up this way,” Steve said, jabbing a thumb over his shoulder. “We can take this in there.”

“Sure, sounds good,” Bucky replied.

\--------------

“Alright, sit down. Talk,” Bucky said, pushing Steve towards his bunk, taking a chair for himself.

“I already said I don’t wanna talk about it,” Steve grumbled.

“Yeah, well too bad. We’re talking about it. Last night you two were looking at each other like you were planning your wedding already, and now you ain’t on speaking terms? The hell’d you manage to do, Steve? I know you got a tendency to stick your foot in your mouth when talking to the ladies, but this has got to be some kind of record,” Bucky said, nudging Steve back down into a sitting position when he tried to get up and leave.

“It’s not a record. I’ve been sweet on her for a while now, not just since last night, and I thought she felt the same about me. Back before this,” Steve gestured to himself, indicating his new physique, “she _noticed_ me, Bucky, really _noticed_ me. She talked to me like I was worth something.”

Bucky nodded, trying to keep his feeling of ‘so did I’ off his face.

“We were good together,” Steve said, looking to Bucky for affirmation.

“You thought she was ‘the one,’ didn’t you?” Bucky asked.

Steve nodded.

“Yeah, I got that impression, too. So what’d you do to piss her off so bad that she’s not talking to you?”

“It wasn’t my fault.”

“ _What_ wasn’t your fault?”

“Some WAC, I didn’t even catch her name, kissed me,” Steve finally explained with a sigh.

“And did you kiss her back?” Bucky asked.

“Well, yeah…”

“Well, there ya go. That’s why.”

“But I didn’t ask for it to happen, she just grabbed my tie and went at it,” Steve grumbled. “Peggy wouldn’t even let me _start_ to explain. It wasn’t that big of a deal, she should have listened to me.”

“So Peggy’s jealous, you’re being your same old stubborn self,” Bucky said, nodding to himself. “Perfect. You two’ll be back together in no time.”

“Really?” Steve said, his face showing his disbelief.

“No, of _course_ not. Seriously, Steve? Anybody in there?” Bucky said, reaching out to rap his knuckles lightly against Steve’s forehead, pulling his hand back before Steve, momentarily startled, could react. “If you really want her back, you gotta let her cool off for a couple days, then apologize with flowers or lipstick, or if you can’t get those, the Hershey’s bar outa your rations.”

“But I wasn’t the one at fault,” Steve said again.

“Doesn’t matter,” Bucky said, dismissing Steve’s argument with a wave of his hand. “Dames like when you apologize when they’re upset. Little gifts go a long way. It’s like those birds that collect blue stuff, like feathers and bottle caps. It’s saying ‘I know you don’t need this but I went out of my way to do this for you.’ Gets ‘em every time.”

“So I gotta ignore her for a couple days?” Steve asked. “How am I supposed to do that right now? It’d be different if we were out in the field, but we’re stuck on base for a few more days.”

“Look, Steve. We’re not ‘stuck’ on base. I know you haven’t been out here for very long and you’re still in that early ‘I wanna fight’ stage, but you do not knock leave time. Especially after what we went through. Every single man on this base right now deserves every minute of his leave. Just because you can’t keep your dick in your pants when a pretty WAC gives you the time of day—”

“It wasn’t like that,” Steve interrupted. He lowered his voice, glancing towards the door. “Weren’t you the one who was telling me how you wouldn’t be able to resist the temptation if some guy winked at you? And you’re lecturing _me_ about keeping my dick in my pants?”

“Yeah I am, and what are you gonna do about it?” Bucky said. He lowered his voice to match Steve’s but his tone was still almost taunting.

“Well, clearly you haven’t been unceremoniously kicked out of the Army, so I guess I’m gonna ask you how you’ve managed to keep the heat off.”

“First things first, you don’t do anything out in the open where everyone can see you. Secondly, you don’t have a lot of time or energy to think about anything else when you’re actually out there fighting. You’re lucky if you’re not too tired to jerk off. Your problem is you’ve got all this energy and nowhere to channel it. In spite of recent events, you’re still your same old self, Steve. You’re crazy over Peggy, you wanna do right by her, so you won’t even _think_ about sleeping with her until you two have sat down, hashed things out, and officially declared your intentions to go steady.”

“So what am I supposed to do, wait until we go back into the field? Punch a bag until I wanna collapse?”

“That’s an option,” Bucky shrugged. “However, I’ve got another suggestion. Since Peggy’s thrown you aside for the moment, I won’t be stepping on her toes.”

“What are you saying?” Steve asked, barely louder than a whisper.

Bucky leaned in, keeping his voice very low. “I’m offering you a tit for tat for what you did for me before Basic. No strings attached. Whatever you want, I’ll do it for you. You get your rocks off, get it out of your system before you apologize to Peggy. I get you. Win-win.”

“I thought you weren’t the settling-down type,” Steve said, scooting closer to the edge of his bunk, putting his hands on his knees.

“Does this sound like setting down?” Bucky asked rhetorically. “No, Steve, I’m asking you for a quick fuck or whatever before you start planning out the rest of your life with Peggy. Am I being greedy? Yeah, I am, and I don’t care. I want you. I know you’ll be happy with her, but until then, I’ll take whatever scraps I can get my hands on. Are you ok with that?”

Steve glanced around the small room, as if expecting an MP to drop out of the ceiling or emerge from a crack in the wall. “Yes,” he finally answered.

“Good,” Bucky said, a grin spreading over his face. “Can I kiss you?”

“You don’t have to ask, Buck.”

“What, you mean you like being grabbed by the tie and hauled off? It’s generally polite to ask first.”

“Well, thank you for asking.”

“My pleasure,” Bucky said, standing up, crossing the minute distance between himself and Steve. He put his hand under Steve’s chin and gently tipped his face up. Looking down into Steve’s eyes, how he had always imagined it. (Never mind the only reason Steve was still shorter than him anymore was because he was seated.)

Steve closed his eyes and parted his lips for Bucky. This close, he could easily smell the warm scent of clove in his aftershave, still bay rum as it had always been. 

The kiss was brief but hungry. Bucky was torn between wanting to kiss and part quickly or to take and take, everything he had always wanted, while Steve was willing. He ought to limit the time spent sequestered alone in Steve’s room when it would be expected that he would be out enjoying his freedom on leave with the other men. Not hiding away suspiciously in his best friend’s quarters.

“So, time to choose,” Bucky said, sitting down next to Steve, their knees touching. He set his hand on Steve’s thigh, fingers splaying out. “What do you want?”

“What do _you_ want?” Steve asked.

“Let me stop you right there, Steve. We’re not gonna play ‘but what do you want’ all afternoon until Stark or Colonel Phillips or _Peggy_ comes knocking on your door looking for you. I am surprisingly horny after everything I’ve been through this past week, so pick something. You want me face-down in your pillow? Great, I just hope you’ve got something we can use for lube. You want me to fuck you? Not my usual thing, but if you got lube, I’ll manage. You want me to lick your asshole? Assuming you’ve had a nice thorough shower this morning, I’ll do that. What do you want, Steve?”

Steve paused, thinking. “Uh, maybe, would you be ok with sucking me off?”

“Would I,” Bucky said with a smirk. He gave Steve’s thigh a quick squeeze before slipping off the edge of Steve’s bunk and dropping to his knees on the floor. “Stand up,” he ordered, hands busy unfastening his belt and buttons.

Steve stood up, unbuckled his belt, leaving it dangling in the belt loops, and unbuttoned his pants. Without ceremony or show, he shoved them down just far enough to pull his still-flaccid cock out of his underwear. He began to fondle his balls through the cloth, watching Bucky’s face as he watched his cock twitch and swell. Bucky’s left hand rose to Steve’s hip; his right hand was already jammed down into his underwear.

Bucky’s tongue flicked out to moisten his lips. “Well ain’t you gorgeous,” he said to Steve’s cock. “Perfectly proportioned. Not too big, not too small.” He tilted his head up to look Steve in the eyes. “And you’re not bad, either,” he said with a grin.

“Gee, thanks. Good to know my personality’s playing second fiddle to my cock,” Steve teased, pulling his hands back to allow Bucky free access.

“I can get your personality any time,” Bucky said, wrapping his hand loosely around Steve’s cock, caressing it. “This is probably the first, last, and only chance I’ve got with your cock, so I’m gonna make the most out of it. Tell it how good it is, tell it how much I appreciate it.”

Steve gave a shivery grunt as his only reply; Bucky had given his glans a sloppy lick, and was slowly, teasingly taking the length into his mouth. Steve placed a hand on Bucky’s head, threading his fingers through his hair, disheveling it. Bucky let him.

“Mmm, that’s good, real good,” Steve managed to murmur before he dissolved into another groan. Bucky, having taken him all the way to the hilt, had pulled back again, humming and bobbing shallowly. (Granted, Steve didn’t have a whole lot else to compare against, but…) 

Bucky’s breathing stuttered. Steve looked down. Bucky’s eyes were loosely closed as he jerked himself, so close to coming. Steve felt him shudder as the orgasm hit, moaning around him. Steve watched eagerly, selfishly, as Bucky came, lips still wrapped around his cock. He felt the heat in his spine building. He lifted his hand off of Bucky’s head and stumbled out a warning that he ignored. 

Steve came, swallowing back the cry in his throat, fingers clenching on air. Bucky withdrew, pulled his handkerchief out of his pocket, and spat. He folded the handkerchief back up to be washed later and slipped it back into his pocket, rising to his feet. He stretched his jaw, grinned, and leaned in, telegraphing his intentions to kiss Steve again. Steve laughed and pushed him back.

“What, you don’t want to know what you taste like?” Bucky teased.

“Nope, I’m good,” Steve said, tucking himself back into his underwear and pulling his pants back up. When he got his belt rebuckled and his uniform properly straightened out, he walked over to his footlocker and pulled out his comb and a bottle of Listerine. He offered both to Bucky.

Steve poured a swig of Listerine into the bottle’s cap as Bucky fixed his hair. Bucky traded the comb for the cap, swished, and swallowed.

“How’s my breath?” he asked, exhaling at Steve.

Steve wrinkled his nose. “Smells like you blew a bottle of Listerine.”

“Alright then, funny guy,” Bucky replied, smacking Steve’s shoulder. “No, really. How is it?”

“You’re fine.”

“Good. Thanks, but I should go now before anyone starts to wonder where I’ve gotten to.”

Steve nodded. He crossed to the door, cracked it open, and peeked out into the hall. “All clear,” he said. He watched as Bucky slipped out, disappearing quickly down the hall. He shut the door again and returned to his bunk. He picked up his shield and began turning it around in his hands again, trying to think where he could manage to find some lipstick for Peggy’s apology gift.

\-------------------------

Peggy turned a corner and almost ran right into Steve.

“Sorry,” Steve said, taking a step back and glancing down. “While you’re here, I just wanted to say, uh…”

Peggy’s eyes followed his, coming to rest on a small box that Steve was turning over in both his hands. She looked back up to take in the whole picture of his posture. He had a safe, if a little nervous, smile on his face, slightly rounded shoulders despite his straight-backed soldier’s stance. One knee was slightly bent. His body language said ‘bashful’ and ‘apologetic.’ She inhaled slowly and exhaled even moreso, finding that she wasn’t actually angry with him anymore. She was a little miffed, but not angry. She nodded at him to go on.

“I just wanted to say I’m sorry,” Steve said, beginning to blush a little as he held out the little box. “I shouldn’t have kissed her. It was wrong. I wasn’t thinking and I won’t do it again. May I apologize?”

Peggy scrutinized Steve. He looked so earnest, chastened, even. Well, she supposed she could give him another chance.

“Well, alright. Come along. I have a meeting with Colonel Phillips in a few minutes, but you can walk with me,” Peggy said, placing her hand lightly on Steve’s elbow, steering him along. He turned willingly.

“I uh, got you a gift, too,” Steve continued.

“Oh?” Peggy said, encouraging Steve to go on.

“Yeah. I hope you’ll like it.”

Peggy took the little box from Steve as he held the door into the room leading to the Colonel’s office. She stepped inside, seeing Private Lorraine typing away at her desk. She also saw the little look of recognition on Private Lorraine’s face. Steve’s eyes were only for her, though, Peggy noted with satisfaction. She made a show of opening the box while Lorraine watched.

“Oh, Steve,” Peggy said, taking the tube of lipstick out of the box, “I do believe… yes, it is my shade. How did you know?”

“I’ve got, um, a pretty good eye for color,” Steve said, suddenly shy.

“Why, thank you,” Peggy said, getting up onto her tiptoes to give Steve a quick kiss on the cheek. “And I suppose I ought to accept your apology.”

“Thank you,” Steve said, blushing even harder. 

Peggy glanced quickly over at Lorraine, who, she noted with pleasure, looked like she smelled something distasteful, frowning over at them. Peggy gave her her sweetest, most insincere smile.

“I’ll let you get to your meeting now,” Steve said, unaware of the moment he was breaking up. “I should go talk to Stark, see how he’s coming along with everything.”

“Yes, of course,” Peggy said. “Thank you again. You don’t know how difficult it is to get ahold of lipstick right now. Or, I suppose, maybe you do. After all, you got that for me.”

“Yeah, yeah I did. Any time. I’m glad you like it.”


End file.
